A Joke Interview for the Dean of Academic Afffairs at Widener

Interview of Nebraska Professor John Snowden for position of Vice Dean for Academic Affairs at Widener University School of Law.

Louise Hill: Well, Professor Snowden, I mean, John, is it all right if I call you John?

John Snowden: Sure, that would be cool.

Louise Hill: Now, I understand you have been writing under the pen name, Roberto Unger.

Snowden: Well, I suppose you might say that there is a certain metaphor there to be considered.

Louise Hill: Well, what can you tell me about postmodernism or Critical Legal Studies?

Snowden: Well, CLS has made some important moves, we have now moved beyond talking about equality, and instead are talking about the subversion of inequality. This the new approach that Yugoslavian spy Randy Lee has come up.

Louise Hill: Well, John, can you tell me what you think your duties would be if you got the position of Vice Dean for Academic Affairs?

Snowden: Well, I suppose the faculty affairs would be the most important, the key is to see if each faculty affairs has involved sexual intercourse in bed or not. Then, you go to work from there.

Louise Hill: Well, John, are you saying then that faculty positions are important in that regard? For example, is the missionary position what really recommended for most faculty sexual intercourse? Then, do you think that a vagina is really necessary or is it possible that some other cavity can be used for sexual relations, following Bill Clinton?

Snowden: I guess you would have to ask Hillary about that, I imagine many faculty members would prefer fellatio to cunninglus or anal intercourse. I can refer you to John Culhane's seminal pieice in that regard.

(C)Copyright 2011 by Anthony J. Fejfar